"So what have you guys been up to today?" says D, who owns the place we are staying at.
"Oh, this and that," we say, airily, "some yoga, some fresh fruit for breakfast, some novel writing..."
Cambodia, for various reasons, seems to have become a sort if retreat for us. I think this is helped by the nature of where we are staying, having A working on her own novel next door, and the prevalence of yoga everywhere. It is also helped, perhaps rather more sadly, by the huge ex pat community who have created a little western haven amid Cambodian life in Siem Reap, which we want to avoid, by the cost of living, particularly the cost of being a tourist, and by the difficulty in finding tour guides who are ethical and can be trusted. The above combine to create a strong temptation to in fact do much the same as the expats and create our own pocket Cambodia which has whatever character we choose to ascribe to it.
On the one hand, the pursuit of novel writing projects and general reflection was part of the point of travelling. On the other hand, I am still quite disturbed by Cambodia in general, its extreme poverty against its carefully constructed scams and tourist traps, like a child lacking love but contriving, as a response, to make itself hateful. I still really want to help. I still really want to begin to understand Cambodia. There's a balance, as always, to be had.
Tomorrow we have plans to go to 'monk chat' to learn about Buddhism, following our rather abortive efforts in Vietnam, to go to a class in basic Khmer and finally, to go to a talk by a doctor who founded the hospital here, who regularly gives concerts on his cello accompanied by talks on the health challenges that face Cambodia, and his work and experience in the local community. It is a tourist draw - that's the point. But this one is a little more to be trusted. You can donate afterwards to the work of the hospital - in money or blood. I fully intend to give blood as long as I am allowed to (I think it has been long enough since surgery) though financial donations are something I need to research now and make a more long term commitment to once I am working.
So there are ways to start to pierce the surface of Cambodia, and get past its veneer of pubs, clubs and scams. I received a response from the US office of the Trailblazer foundation, (it is an international charity founded by a US lady), thanking me for my interest and forwarding my enquiry to the Cambodian office. I haven't heard anything yet but I am hopeful.
In the meantime Neville progresses and I am happy and contented.
"As you breathe in" says the teacher at yet another kind of yoga class we try in the evening, "call to mind a negative emotion that has been bothering you." The idea being to release it as you breathe out. (You can't do yoga without getting a little bit into the love, peace and hippiness.)
But actually I struggle to select something. I am not plagued with anxiety or, for once, sweating the small stuff. Possibly this is because I don't have any small stuff to sweat. But if that's true, its still worth celebrating the privilege I have in being lucky enough to do this. And if the small stuff waits for me back home, alongside my work and my rent and my routine, well that's ten months away yet. It can carry on waiting.
So if some of the time we spend in Cambodia is used to play at being ayurvedic, yoga toting hippies, writing novels and germinating inner peace, well so be it.
It'll be a great souvenir to bring back home.
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