Penang: Top Ten Foods

It's the food capital. And I have sampled so many things and eaten so much so very easily (vegetarian versions of practically all the local dishes abound) that I have felt permanently as though I was on the brink of disaster in a Monty Python sketch, being offered a 'wafer thin mint'. 

So, rather than a list of top ten moments (practically every moment here felt like one of those anyway), here is my Penang list of top ten foods:

Economy Rice - simple but amazing. You out rice on your plate and then you choose from literally twenty or thirty toppings (all vegetarian in the right places and all almost indistinguishable from their meaty counterparts). It's called 'economy' because you serve yourself and pay for what you get. One or two toppings - very cheap. More, and it gets dearer as you add them. My economy rice was never especially economy. 

Dragon Ball biscuits. Also known as Tambun biscuits or, in my personal favourite, Fat Biscuits. Round balls made of pastry made with sweetened mung beans, with a filling which is sweet, but includes just that hint of fried onion. Yes it sounds horrible but if there is anything people do really really well here - it's salty sweet tastes. And this is no exception.

Assam Laksa - a thick, complex noodle soup made with tamarind, pineapple, cucumber, and lemongrass and fresh mint - to name but a few. It's famous for having all of the five key tastes - salty, sweet, sour, bitter and umami. It's like a kind of delicious and harmonious explosion in your mouth.

Banana Leaf Rice - more from the Indian end of town this is rice, and two or three different dhals or curries along with pickles and garnish and served in mounds on a banana leaf. You eat it with your hands on the street. In a restaurant you have to succumb to a knife and spoon. Boo.

Salted Vampire - yes I admit, it's at least partly for it's name. Well maybe more than partly. But it was nice. I ate it in a Chinese Buddhist (so definitely vegetarian) place and it came in a clay pot, still sizzling in a rich, thick sauce and served with rice. It was some kind of mock meat. But whether it tasted like a real salted vampire I really couldn't tell you.

Ais Cacang - pronounced 'ice cachang' (so, fun to say) is some crushed ice served with a variety of toppings. There's a slush puppy style syrup but much more than that. You get sweetened sweet corn, lychee, seaweed jellies, peanuts, ice cream, evaporated milk, and various unidentifiable tapioca related sweetmeats. It's sugar on top of sugar on top of ice. Done well, it's incredible. And even done badly, it's the most cooling thing you can eat in 35 degrees with 70+ humidity.

Chai Tow Kway - described to us as 'deep fried carrot cake', this isn't what a westerner would expect. It's a savoury fried noodle dish made if cakes of a version of mooli and herbs. Genuinely delicious. And better than my original expectation of a wedge if cake, cream cheese topping and all, fried in chip batter. Luckily I am not in charge of creating new recipes.

Mee - this is a cheat. 'Mee' is generally used to mean wheat noodles. But each morning we had a different noodle soup with a different broth. There was Hokkien Mee (thick hoisin style broth), Curry Mee (thin red curry broth), Bee Noon fish head soup (not technically a 'mee' but it is a noodle soup and I'm cheating anyway so I will go with it) and many more beside, each delicious, each unique and each with different toppings.

Pau - in general, but Sesame Pau in particular. Buns, rather like Japanese steamed buns, usually with some kind of sweet salty barbeque meat filling.

Roti - in general but roti canai in particular. Thinly fried batter served with a spicy Dahl to dip it in. Simple but so satisfying. Roti can also be sweet, stuffed with egg, thick like a naan, or simple, served alongside a curry.

And I haven't even mentioned the drinks. Some great, some stomach churning they are nevertheless interesting for their sheer 'difference'. Sour Plum, Nutmeg, Chestnut, Lime and Espresso, Buttermilk (amazing lassi style drink with salt, ginger, mustard seeds and coriander), teh tatil ('pulled' tea poured from high so it foams up in the cup - there are championships in 'pulling' the tea in Langkawi. The current champion can do it whilst juggling) and many many combinations of coffee, juice, tea or yogurt with jellied squares.

Mmmm. I am writing this waiting to get on a plane at half past four in the morning. And I'm still getting hungry just thinking about it. 

Perhaps just a little pau....