Kill the Myth

As I begin to draft this blog, entitling it 'Friday week 4' I am amazed to think that it really is Friday week 4. We move to Chau Doc on Monday and out of Vietnam, into Cambodia on Wednesday. I can't quite believe it but I am also ready. Eager to learn from my experience, I keep trying to track how many nuggets of amazing inner knowledge I might have gained. I seem to remain just as clueless as ever. But it's early days. Just wait. 

Don't hold your breath though.

As we spend all of today on a bus, and much of that sleeping (my waterfall high of yesterday didn't allow me to stop buzzing long enough to sleep) this blog will focus instead on a subject I  growing more and more fanatical about.

There is an idea that there is only one kind of travelling. It's odd because people generally understand well that there are many different types if holiday. But only one accepted form of travel. 

What complete and utter rubbish. This myth is responsible for the enormous number of people who said to me as I prepared to depart,

"Wow. That's amazing. I'm so jealous. But I could never do it."

You could. You don't have to. It's possible to have life defining experiences without leaving your home. But you can if you want to. You can do it.

What people mean when they say that is that they could never do a particular type of travel which is presented as being the only way. They could not move from place to place in quick succession, constantly seeing things day and night time, following a 'tourist trail largely prescribed for them and all of it on a tiny budget. They could not arrive somewhere in the evening with nowhere to stay and book a cockroach filled dorm on the hoof. For pennies. And probably whilst wearing those tie dyed balloon pants or possibly a bandana.

Fair enough. I could never do that either.

I could do this though. 

M and I are staying for a month in one place in most countries, using it as a base to explore from. We are hiring something basic and self catering, or a home stay. Where we need to stay in hostels we found a private shared room was less expensive than two beds in a dorm. We have a budget but it isn't unreasonable and we saved up for years to do it, and are doing it later in life than the average person. We don't have a packed daily schedule and are largely avoiding doing or seeing things purely because its what people are supposed to do and see. We have a project each to work on, my novel and M's photography plus daily blogging and so sometimes we spend hours sitting still, just plonking ourselves in a place and drinking it in. Worse still, focusing on other things.

It's not a better way. Its just our way.

The fact is there are as many different types of travel as there are types of people. There are infinite possibilities. 

Some people are serial monogamists. They move from place to place, to live and work there for years before moving on.

Others travel to many places in succession, but their interests are narrow. We met a man who had travelled purely for the surf, for example. He stayed in each place for a long time and always lived on a beach. 

Some people need to play it safer with their home lives. They travel very gradually, picking their annual two week holidays carefully, ensuring these are in interesting and exotic places.

D, who we met at the Dalat homestay, was in many ways a very atypical traveller. She was afraid of mud, animals, spicy foods, heights and the smell of manure. I wondered at times how she managed to leave home in the first place. 

 But what D could do better than anyone else was build a relationship. Within hours she was chatting away to the host family, swapping cooking advice. Within a day she was knitting on the sofa, a child who was afraid of other tourists, playing contented by her side. By the time we left she and H's wife had made plans for a girly evening, complete with ambitious manicure plans. She was the first to help with the dinner and the first to clear away. She knew things about family life that the rest of us hadn't begun to explore. Whether D knew this or not, this was her gift. Her style of travel was all about the people. I don't know how she fared scrambling down to the waterfall. But if she didn't make it, it doesn't matter. Perhaps this is the most authentic way to travel, whether D had planned it that way or not.

There are a thousand different ways to travel. O does it by staying at home. We come to her and she collects our stories.

So, for the last time, let's kill the myth. You do not have to be fearless. (See Bryony Holland's blog, 'Working Wandering and Worrying' for more inspirational stories on this issue) You do not have to have money. You do not have to be comfortable with your backpack on constantly.

The only indispensable thing you bring with you to each situation - is you. And it doesn't matter if the you isn't perfect. Or if you aren't ecstatic at every available moment. Or you haven't become spiritually pure and enlightened after a couple of weeks.

There's only one way to travel - and that's your way. Do it differently. Kill the myth.