Put me on my death bed right now and I would spend most of my time snivelling and trying to get sympathy. In between, if you were silly enough to ask, I would probably recount my life in journeys. Student debt to solvency, single to happily married, starting points, turning points, aspirations. You know, the big stuff. I might not mention which particular diet fads worked or didn't work. I may not remember that mistake I made at work which was not significant but for which I spent nearly an entire week mentally crippling myself. I would definitely not care whether on Tuesday 24 August 2003, someone had remembered to put the bins out.

And yet on a daily basis approximately 90% of my energy is ploughed into just those issues and the bigger picture is....well, a bit over pixelated.

This is fine, I reason. And perfectly rational. What is important however is not to let stuff I won't remember prevent me from finding the time to create the memories I will cherish.

And so....operation no regrets. Beginning with a travelling adventure. Eleven months, eleven counties, two backpacks, myself, my husband and the odd mosquito along for the ride.

Friday, 19 December 2014

The Great Travelling Meltdown: Part One - Cycling

We hire bikes and decide to cycle across the island to the Animal Welfare Centre and then on to the beach on the farthermost side. We hire the bikes from our friends, B and her partner, who I will call Boris, largely because he is about the most un ‘Boris’ like person we have met. Thai, laid back and always cheery, he is constantly inviting us to join him, smiling and saying ‘it will be alright, baby love, it will be fine’ to B, who is actually fairly laid back herself.

I am in a paradisical wonderland, with plans to do things today which most people would envy, and yet, I am actually dreading it a little. Cycling, as I have mentioned before, is something which for some reason I am quite afraid of. I have never been able to place why.

There are plenty of theories. I managed, somehow, to fail my cycling proficiency test twice when I was nine. People, when I tell them this, tend to exclaim in amazement. How could anyone fail their cycling proficiency, they ask, they didn’t even know it was possible to fail it.

This doesn’t really help. It was the first thing I had ever failed. Being eager to please and a bit of a swot I had passed most things with flying colours, and still suffered with a sense of inferiority. To fail this test was a tragedy for me at my tender, and vastly oversensitive, age. I remember running home to find my mother in the playground which was en route back home from my school, with my sister, who must have been young enough still to be playing. I ran into her arms and burst into floods of hysterical tears. It’s still a hugely vivid memory now, though I tend to use it as an amusing anecdote rather than focusing too much on how bitterly I took it. I think my Mother must have thought something awful had happened. In my mind, it had. I don’t actually remember whether I ever passed it. I certainly retook it, and failed it again.

In my best amateur psychology therefore, I could theorise that I associate cycling with failure, and am tense on a bike, waiting for the humiliation. There is also, I think, a sense of humiliation waiting in the balance even as an adult. The fear that I will be left behind in a group, that I will be the only one unable to power myself uphill, and the very worst, that I will somehow be a let down for M.

M loves cycling. He likes nothing better than to set off on a bike, cycle all day, challenge himself with longer and ever harder routes, feel the wind in his face and in his hair and race downhill at astonishing speeds. He cycles, or did cycle, each day some ten miles to and from work, without breaking a sweat, and when we go out together he hangs back for me. He is deeply patient, never letting on how much he would really like to speed off into the distance, and never accusing me of being unfit or slow. But I know him. So I know he is itching for the off. What he wants, deeply and fervently, is for me to love cycling with him. He wants to spend days at the weekend in British summer sun, speeding along with the wind in our hair on our bikes, wild and free and in the beautiful outdoors.

My bike doesn’t get used unless M initiates such a day, and when we have one I expend huge energy on keeping my fearfulness under wraps for his sake. In fact I often do enjoy these days. I don’t spend every moment on the bike wishing I was off it. I too, get a euphoria with the wind in my hair. But I relax noticeably when the bike ride is over, and am obviously and openly tense on roads, flinching visibly and dangerously whenever a car passes me, often completely panicking and pulling jerkily to the side of the road and stopping if there happens to be a larger or faster vehicle. My sense of panic, M tells me, worriedly, leads me to act on roads in a way that is likely to put me in the danger I am initially so exaggeratedly feeling. I make it as dangerous as I think that it is.

This unbalance between my enjoyment and ability in relation to cycling and M’s, tends to serve to exaggerate the problem. If it began with a sense of inferiority, this is greatly enhanced by my constant feeling that I am inadequate on a bike. Feeing inadequate leads me to be grumpy. Feeling grumpy leads me to be what I hope is uncharacteristically short tempered. Being short tempered makes that initially perhaps untrue sense of being inferior to M, rather more true, and makes me utterly unlikeable, and no fun to be around. If I wasn’t ruining his day by being slow – I am certainly ruining it now by being nasty.

Today is no exception. When we go to pick up the bikes, Boris is in the middle of setting off in his kayak with some guests they have staying. This makes him uncharacteristically terse as he tries to find, sort out and give us the bikes before the tide goes out. The bikes are clearly his pride and joy and so he urges us, several times, to look after them, to treat them as our own. As a person whose worst nightmare is to upset someone else, a tense and rather sterner Boris, is not a good start.

My jitters increase once we have the bikes. One of them has a tyre which needs pumping – mine in fact – and it can only be pumped with a special attachment which a shop down the road happens to have. M and I set off with the bikes down the road to the shop, where M’s tyres are pumped but the man who knows which attachment to use for mine, is out. There is a lot of hanging around, greatly lengthened by the fact that the shop, being Thai style, is not obviously open, and I, being me, am reluctant to cause anyone any trouble, so we spend about twenty minutes hanging around uncertainly outside. This gives me longer to feel jittery, longer to wonder if I really want to do this, and instills a certain amount of uncertainty. If, perhaps, we can’t sort the tyres out, then perhaps we won’t go. My resolve, for things that I am afraid of, is usually made up of a sense that I have already passed the turning point. There is no going back. If there is any hint that there might be an opportunity to do otherwise, my resolve dissolves.

When we can’t get the tyre pumped up, my nerves increase. Some of the problem, I suspect, is that I have never considered the bike to be a friendly entity. I have a friend who had a ‘sit up and beg’ dutch style bike, which she rode everywhere on, hilly terrain or otherwise, and which she decorated with flowers. That bike seemed like a friend, a part of her. I think she even gave it a name. Riding mostly on mountain bikes, and disliking the posture they require you to adopt, stiff necked from looking up and back aching from the bent position, I view them as hostile creatures who are in control of me, rather than I of them. They have mastered me, required me to adopt a painful position, and are likely to try to hurt me further, or to grow a mind of their own at just the wrong time. As we travel, the bikes we use have been hired vehicles, so always unfamiliar. It has occurred to me since, that I should perhaps adopt my friend’s approach to cycling, and give myself a friendly pet bike. I do own a bike at home, a good bike. It’s a mountain style bike because in the UK that is the most common model. But perhaps I should name it, adorn it with something.

Right now, however, all I am thinking about is my increasingly tense and grumpy state of mind. By the time we swing ourselves onto our bikes and set off I am convinced of the sincere hostility my bike has to me. It must be treated very carefully or Boris will be upset, it has a limp tyre that cannot be pumped up, and it has made me grumpy to M, which makes me feel miserable and petty and mean.

We set off and I renew my determination to enjoy this. And in fact for the most part it is fine, the breeze in my face and the quiet, well surfaced roads help me and I am doing quite well. The usual tension is there – I think on a bike I tense my arms and shoulders and hold my breath a little. Often the next day I ache in a way that suggests far more strain than can strictly have originated purely from the length or difficulty of the cycle.

A little way in, however, a car suddenly swerves to avoid a pothole in the road, moving quite fast and essentially racing towards me in my lane. I stop in panic, launching myself forward so suddenly I almost hurtle over the handlebars, and it is only my self imposed speed limit of about one inch per hour which stops me from somersaulting. Instead I do a sort of panicky squeaky hop off the saddle and onto the floor and give the passing car the most evil filled look I can possibly manage. The car, and its driver, speed off happily.

I rant for a while to M about the car. M seems a little out of patience which I understand and can empathise with but, in doing so, begin to fire up a familiar and deeply unhealthy spiral inside my mind, which runs something along the lines of, ‘the fact is, I don’t like cycling, this fact is shameful, no one else is afraid of cycling so this is another prong to my wheel of general inadequacy, I feel angry and miserable which is horrible for M, who I love but am making unhappy, so perhaps he would be better with someone else, someone more sporty, that girl for instance, in the tiny bikini, she’s probably lovely and not scared of anything, or that other girl over there, or really anyone else.’

I am irritably dismissive of the gears, which don’t, and never have, made sense to me. M tries to explain them but finds himself having to try to describe something which is really instinctive.

“You change gears when you feel uncomfortable,” he says, helplessly, “and if it feels better, that’s the right gear, if it doesn’t you change it. You have to feel it.”

“But I don’t feel it,” I say, covering the fact that I am somehow close to tears with crossness, “I am not you. You have a natural affinity with your bike. I don’t. I don’t like it, I can’t ride it. I’m no good at it. I’d love to be you. But I’m not.”

The upshot is that for much of the ride, M cycles ahead, probably trying to rid himself of a burgeoning irritation it is unlike him to feel, and I plod (as much as you can plod on a bicycle) miserably in his wake, fighting back tears. The tears are unlike me. I am not a crier. I am not, usually, a very negative person. But over a period of time, (dare I admit it, since we have been travelling), I have found myself miserably noting a new tendency to be crotchety as a result of a sense of ingrained inferiority, either against other travellers, against others generally or against M. That series of emotions leads, inevitably and inexorably towards a strongly felt and embittered anger with myself, and in turn, a change which is not for the better.

I am becoming more and more convinced of my inadequacy, and each new challenge, each cycle ride, each climb up steps, each motorbike, only serves to show me more and greater inadequacies and fear in myself. I am discovering myself, and what I am discovering is not something I can respect.

The rest of the cycle allows the wind to dry my tears and soothe my thoughts to some level, so that when we eventually arrive back home again both M and I are cycling together, talking calmly, and I am suggesting that we try cycling again but a shorter journey (today’s was a 30k round trip), though M’s response, a gentle suggestion that perhaps we should simply not go on cycle rides at all, leaves me feeling sad. I am a terrible wife. I am a wife who takes something M loves, and makes it miserable for him. That fleeting thought, that he should have married someone else, starts to take up a semi permanent residence.


Postscript: Around this time, this sort of mentality, which had been building as we travelled, gained momentum, aided, I suspect by my feminine cycles. As I started to feel this way, I stopped blogging. I was a few days behind and the few days seemed a long time, and then became a longer time for each time I didn’t write. I am recounting this some weeks later, when the dust has settled  and I can look back on it, remember it vividly, but regard it now, with some sort of distance. Essentially I think these few fraught days formed a sort of peak in a rather negative state of mind which I had been battling since our first plane took flight from the UK, three months ago – or arguably, for ever. I can call it a crisis of confidence or a meltdown, but now I have the hindsight which allows me to tell you that I believe it was a fire that cured the burn. I hit rock bottom and it gave me a surface to bounce from. All is well that ends well. But not straight away….

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