To Pray or to Party

Tonight it is the full moon. In the Buddhist tradition this should be a special day of religious significance. Buddhists, if not entirely vegetarian already, in deference to the Buddha's command to seek not to cause harm to any loving thing,  might eat vegetarian specifically on this day. They might perhaps make a special visit to the temple, leave an offering, or maybe even hold a special ceremony in honour of thus occasion. We hope to perhaps see some of this, or to sample, maybe, a special vegetarian dish. With this in mind, we ask a family running a restaurant just opposite the Chinese Buddhist temple.

"Here?" they say after we make a halting attempt to ask, "No, nothing happen here."

And sure enough, the temple does look deserted. We walk to the other Buddhist temple in town, which also serves as a monastery. We find the same thing. 

We accept that perhaps today, though significant, is not an occasion for a specific celebration in town. Thinking about it, though, we wonder whether we have caused confusion. When we first asked B a similar question, she shook her head.

"I don't think anything happens here" she says, "that's more in the bigger towns"

Where all the resorts are. We wonder, suddenly, whether people think we are asking about the full moon party - a big party full of expats, tourists and Thais in which much drinking, eating and imbibing of varying interesting substances occurs. I have seen adverts as part of banners and posters for restaurants on the larger islands, which advertise 'full moon', 'orange moon' and, I think, 'bear moon'. It doesn't say anything else but it refers to a party. There is no reference to the original religious meaning or to any prayer or ceremonial offering. I suspect Thai's undertake this quietly at home - before joining, if they are planning to, the party.

All of which discussion obviously brings me round to the subject of Christmas.

I don't know about you but I get bored with the usual harping on about the true meaning of Christmas having been fed to the snarling wolves of commercialism and booze - whether true or otherwise - so I will avoid doing so now. But, as someone following an actively Christian faith - I have been interested to see what would happen. While we are here there is no real way to go to Church. There may be a catholic church on the more touristic side of the island but it's a long journey to go there. As neither Buddhism nor Islam celebrate Christmas in any significant way - we are not subject to any of the symptoms of the ravages of the aforementioned wolves. There is no Christmas music playing on a loop in restaurants, no fake Santa Clauses, reindeer or snowmen and no endorsements to buy cards or stocking fillers. We have agreed to buy each other a nice card - though probably not with a robin on it, and to have a nice meal together in leiu of presents. My family are happy for us to send them e cards with thoughtful messages but not to sorry about trying to send money or presents either way. My mum is happily planning the belated Christmas we will celebrate in September when we get back, a few months before the real thing in December. 

"And there will be a welcome home party as well course," she says, "then the 'Christmas' that you missed and then actual Christmas for 2015!"

My family have always believed in ensuring that no celebration is forgotten. If Father's day happens when my Father is working - we just move it. Birthdays, if necessary, are marked months after the event. These things are not bound by any rules in relation to time. The only unbreakable rule is that you must, always, celebrate it. 

"Christmas gets less important when you're no longer a child" people say. Not in my family. And I don't even mean from a religious perspective. Every birthday, every Mother's Day, every Christmas is a big event. We don't take celebrations lightly.

Other families are different, I know, and some find certain celebrations difficult. Christmas, at least in the commercial sense, is a very difficult time for a lot of people. It's expensive and the emphasis on family is simple cruelty to those who don't have the luxury of their family around them - or for whom Christmas reminds them of a sad anniversary. My family may postpone the celebration. Others might prefer to cancel it completely.

So there is Christmas. And then there is the party associated with it. Perhaps this is what actually happens. A mental separation of the original faith or meaning of the celebration itself and the method of marking it. The excuse to get together. My family, despite being deeply religious, thinks nothing of deferring the celebration. But the faith perspective, the religious reflection will still happen on the 25 December.

I expect I will take my leave of M for a little while - and take myself off to a quiet room to reflect. It isn't that the reflection should be sober and somber (I would soon be chucked out of a faith that required much of either if those 's'es) but the faith part has naturally separated itself in my mind. Like the full moon party, i right honour the occasion religiously - and then put my glad rags on and join in with the tourists. And I rather suspect this is true of a lot of people.

"If they don't believe in God", say some hard line Christians rather bitterly, of society at large, "then why do they celebrate it?"

It's a quick answer. Because, even for many Christians, the root and the branches are not obviously connected. You can celebrate being with your family and you can brighten your darker winter days with the prospect of a party without necessarily believing in why. Even as a Christian, in the part of the day in which I am devoted to celebrating, I am probably more mindful of my lovely family. The religious core is still there - but I focus on the two aspects separately.

Away from Christmas, I find this theory underlined. We will chose certain ceremonies of our own. We might, for example sleep out under the stars on our deck on Christmas Eve, watching the sun rise together Christmas morning. We might cobble together an Asian inspired Christmas Pudding. We might stream Christmas music on our phones. And pride of place will be skyping home. 

The full moon party hasn't ruined the full moon celebrations. The tinsel hasn't smothered Christmas. You just have to decide which strands you hang onto - and how you'd like to weave them together.